A funny


Juliaki told me one of her continuing adventures

Like many pagans, my friend Juliaki sometimes attracts the strange people. With her permission, this is from an email she sent me.

This happened to me today...thought you'd find it amusing.

Generally when I'm "out and about" in town in my work type professional gear, I wear my pentacle outside my shirt (except for actually in the office or at meetings where it might make folks feel uncomfortable). Basically I do that just so that folks see me, a rather normal looking and professional gal, but also see my pentacle and figure that we're not all freaks and insane people. Every couple months or so, someone might see it and comment on it, usually in a positive way. (I've never had anyone heckle or hassle me about it, although some folks have given me odd looks every now and then.) Today....well, today was unique.

I was sitting quietly listening to some Disney stuff on my iPod when this guy got on the Metro somewhere around U Street/Cardozo. He was dressed all in big, baggy black clothing, a long black leather jacket (keep in mind, it was almost 90 today), and was wearing lots of chains and thick black leather bracers. He looked over at me and nodded, so I nodded back and then closed my eyes to listen to the music. Next thing I know, he's moved to the seat right in front of me. Here's the conversation we had until I finally got him to leave around College Park. I wish I had a recorder...it was much funnier than I'll be able to do justice to it here, although my inner monologue (which will appear in brackets) helps add to the humor factor.

Strange Guy: Uh. Hi.
Me: Hi.
Strange Guy: So.... whatcha listening to?
Me: Disney stuff.
Strange Guy: Disney?
Me: Yep, I'm a Disney freak.
Strange Guy: You want to move over into the seats over there so we can talk.
[And if I don't, you'll continue to pester me here.... at least over there I've got easy access to a door.]
Me: Sure, why not.
Strange Guy: By the way, I'm Slay.
Me: I'm Julia. Nice to meet you.
Slay: I'm one of the Pendragons.
Me: Ah. [Okay, I see where this is going. Now, do I want to be snotty/rude, ice queen, or play his ego. I think I'll go with ice queen.]
Slay: You've heard of them, right?
Me: Probably have. I'm pretty well connected. [I've already got your number, kiddo. Even if I don't know of your little clique personally, I chew up and spit out a dozen like you every week in online groups. Hit the road, kid.]
Slay: So, do you hang around with a coven?
Me: Sure.
Slay: What area?
Me: You know, the whole Greenbelt, Laurel, College Park area. Although there's lots of them there, of course.
Slay: Uh...yeah, there are.
[Translation: You had no earthly idea that there's anything outside of your own little roleplaying world.]
Slay: Are they registered with the High Council?
Me: I doubt it.
Slay: Ah, that would explain why I've not seen you around. I take it you haven't been to any of the Council gatherings. You new to town?
Me: Been here a year and a half or so.
Slay: Well, if you want to go to the Council meetings, you'd certainly be able to come as my guest. We're going to have a get together with all the elders from the High Councils around the world. There's about 500 or so of us. Really it is just an excuse to get together to drink.
[Gee, I'd never guess.]
Me: Who knows, I might.
[If I got a frontal lobotomy.]
Slay: My father is the highest elder of this area. I'm sure you've heard of him. (At this point he said the name, but since I hadn't heard of him, the name didn't stick.)
Me: 'Fraid not. I pretty much stay in my own little family area.
Slay: Oh, right, a family. I see that now.
....Silence descends...
Slay: So... I guess the ice was broken. Crash, shatter, ya know.
Me: Guess so.
[Hah.]
Slay: I'm actually from New York.
Me: Uh huh.
Slay: Yep... how do you like it here?
Me: I love it. This area is so open and Pagan-friendly. Heck, I love living in a town that has a witch shop right on Main Street.
Slay: Well, really it is a mage shop for me. After all, I'm a guy so I'm not a witch. All guys who call themselves witches are really missing the point. Guys are mages, after all.
Me: I see.
[Okay, now I'm just feeling sorry for you. Not only are you out of your league, you're digging a hole so deep into the lack of credibility zone that you couldn't get out with fifty cubic acres of mulch.]
Slay: I used to have an amulet, but it was destroyed in a ritual.
Me: Guess things got rough.
Slay: Well, you know how it is. Although most of the work we do is in the astral because there aren't many people of my level who can see or do battle with things here on the physical plane.
Me: I gotcha.
[Yep, I gotcha a little white coat that ties up in the back if you don't get off this Metro before my stop....]
Slay: It was custom designed too.
Me: Ah, so hard to find good custom work.
Slay: It's all about the Ren Faire. That's where you find the best stuff.
[I wonder if he wears his black trenchcoat to the Faire in late summer... I wonder how hot the human body would have to get before it exploded.]
Slay: Dang, I missed my transfer. Oh well, I'll keep riding.
[If it weren't for the fact that I find this so funny, I'd wonder what bit of karma I was getting. Is this how annoying I was when I was going through my weird college phase?]
Slay: Yeah, we do a good job protecting folks from all the weird stuff out there. Of course being able to shift helps as well.
Me: I'm sure.
Slay: I'm not as good as our elder lycanthrope clan out in LA. I haven't actually seen them do it in person, but they can change into werewolves right in front of you.
Me: Must be quite something.
Slay: Oh, it really is. But I just stay with the responsibilities of the Order of Pendragons and the High Council.
Me: Uh huh.
Slay: You know what they are, right?
Me: 'Fraid not.
Slay: Ah, well we go into covens to act as protectors and defenders.
Me: I see.
Slay: If your coven wants, we can go ahead and send representation out to make sure that everything goes safely for you all. It is our sworn duty to defend any coven that needs assistance.
[There's some sick and twisted part of me that would like to introduce you to some folks....just to watch your eyes pop out. Thankfully for everyone's sake, I also have good common sense, ethics, and can keep the trickster side of me in control when needed.]
Me: I'll keep that in mind.
Slay: Yep, it is a rough responsibility. I have two covens that I protect, but then again, I'm an elder.
[An elder...gee, nice to meet you, I'm the Ostara bunny, here to smash Cadbury eggs into your face and run away laughing. Oy vey, I know it isn't a full moon.....]
Me: Must keep you very busy.
Slay: Not really, we don't do much. We do meet Thursdays and Saturdays.
Me: I tend to be busy with things on Thursdays, and I travel some on Saturdays.
Slay: Ah, that's cool.
Me: Tell you what, go ahead and give me your e-mail address and if I ever get free, I'll drop you a line.
[And that way you can think you might have actually convinced me of something, too!]
(At that point I started digging for a pen.... now who saw this next bit coming?)
Slay: So.....boyfriend?
[I was so tempted to say "nah, I'm a life-long lesbian", but I think that would have turned him on far too much.]
Me: Yep. Sorry 'bout that.
[Sorry he isn't here to be laughing at this, too.]
Slay: That's cool. Any time you want to ditch him, let me know.
Me: Well, considering that I live with him, that would be a bit awkward.
Slay: You know, it isn't a good reason to stay with a guy, just because you live with him.
[Yeah, good thing that there's that love stuff in there too, isn't it? Creep.]
Me: It works for me.
Slay: He a mage?
Me: Nope.
[Hmm....what should I say that he is if he asks..... decisions decisions.]
Slay: Well, if you ever want to have a really powerful boyfriend, I can hook you up. Even if it isn't with me, I've got friends.
[Dude, stop drooling on me. I don't know where your slobber has been.]
Me: Okey doke. Here's my e-mail address.
(And have no fear, folks...I gave him an e-mail address that I reserve to contact folks who I don't want to be able to track me down. The best he'll be able to do is find some online groups and information about how I write for PagaNet News.)
Slay: And here's mine (for anyone who wants to know, he put down <censored to protect the guilty>).
Slay: So what are you doing riding the Metro today?
Me: I'm going home from work.
Slay: Oh, yeah, I guess that would be good. I work for (and I forgot the name of the business) out in Silver Spring. Heard of it?
Me: Can't say I have.
Slay: It's an animation thing. I do anime.
[You better believe that if there was an anime studio in Silver Spring, my brother (the world's biggest anime geek) would have told me about it. And his girlfriend, who does animation, would have applied there.]
Me: Never heard of them.
Slay: Yeah....I was out there working today on something. Then I decided to get on the Metro. Well, I changed first. Not my physical form, just my clothes.
[Which is a good thing, because I never would have recognized you as a high and mighty Pendragon elder if you were wearing your Burger King uniform.]
....another silent pause....
Slay: So, keep in mind, if you need to have skilled people to protect you during ritual from the things out there, we're always ready to come in and fulfill our role as defenders.
Me: Okey doke.
Slay: You can tell if it is really one of us, because we wear these leather bracers with the dragon on it.
Me: Custom work?
Slay: Yeah...well, there's this guy down in Pentagon who sells them because the deal was that if he made them for us, he got to sell the pattern commercially.
Me: Uh huh.
Slay: But we also wear these rings, too.
[Ooooh, secret decoder rings. Sorry, I'd prefer the x-ray glasses....]
Me: I'll keep my eyes open for them.
[That way I know to make myself invisible when I see one coming around, unless I feel like playing.]
Slay: By the way, how old are you?
Me: I'm 28.
(Now I have no idea why I said I'm 28, when I'm actually 29 going on 30.... too weird.)
Slay: Oh, that's cool. Just making sure you were old enough to drink.
Me: Yep.
Slay: That's one way to get the Pendragons to come to your assistance. Just shout "Alcohol!"
[Betcha if I shouted orgy you'd be groveling at my feet, too.]
Me: That'd work. Although that stuff (pointing at his Mt. Dew) will mess you up worse than most alcohol anyhow.
Slay: Huh? No it won't....
Me: Sure will, eats holes in your innards.
Slay: Oh, well I'd just use my powers to heal something like that.
[Oooh, you didn't tell me you had the power to heal holes. Why not start with the one in your head where your brains fell out?]
Slay: Anyhow, I think I'll get off the Metro in College Park and go see a friend, maybe bum a $20 off of him.
Me: Sounds like an excellent idea.
Slay: So, I teach martial arts too, if you ever need anything like that.
Me: Okey doke. Looks like your stop is coming up.
[Thank the gods.]
Slay: Yeah, guess so. Um, so I'll see you around.
Me: Have a good one.
Slay: Yeah, uh....Blessed be.
Me: You too.

As soon as he left the Metro train and the train pulled away from the station, I took a quick glance around at the other passengers who, I think, were afraid for my safety. He was talking pretty loud, naturally because he wanted to impress everyone on the train with his high and mighty skills. I just looked around, shook my head, and said "good grief, silly kids...what can you do?" Then I put on my headphones again and went back to the song stylings of The Lion King.

Hey.....can you feel the love tonight? *grin*

Posted: Mon - May 9, 2005 at 07:27 AM
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