Elvis has left the building


Drama kings and queens and their effect on worship

There are times when being a solitary gets tiresome. And then I get a couple of, well, not exactly thumps, but emphatic statements.

One was from a minister friend of mine in the southern part of the state. A parishioner had their feelings hurt by something that wasn't handled especially well. Things got out of control, and this "charter member" (who had already resigned multiple times in the past) wanted to leave in the most dramatic way possible. My friend defused and derailed most of these attempts, but it was the last one that really got him a bit upset. After the fireworks that threatened to divide the congregation and the member had resigined, there was one last bit. The former member put sealed letters on the music stands in the choir loft just before the Sunday services began. Soft of "I've left but I am still going to sow discord from beyond the walls."

Now before we as Pagans start congratulating ourselves because "that could never happen to us," let me tell you about the other statement. I'm putting some feelers out into southern Colorado and northern New Mexico because I want to buy some land to build a house. Through one of those friend of a friend of a friend things, I stumbled across the remains of a small Pagan group that had something very similar happen to them. Things hadn't gone quite so smoothly for them.

Although I don't usually agree with his politics, Isaac Bonewits pointed out a book years ago that covers these situations. I've read it, it's right on. My old friend knew instinctively what to do to save their congregation, my new friend didn't. I suspect that most of us fit with the second.

I've been told that if the participants are "adult" enough, this won't happen. I don't think that's true. People are people. People cherish their passions. Dramatic exits may not resolve the problem, but it spreads the misery and plants guilt.

I've many reasons for staying solitary. Maybe I will find the "right group" someday, but I am not hanging my life on it.

Posted: Fri - February 1, 2008 at 07:12 AM
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