Save me from the demon Murphy


What does it say when I pay them but I still know more about how their network fails than they do?

Me (calling up cable company this morning): Hi there! You're having network problems and I can't connect to the internet. It's been down since last night.

Cable Service Representative: Okay sir, I need you to check some things for me. Unplug the cable modem and disconnect the cable.

Me: Done.

CSR: Reboot your computer.

Me: I shouldn't have to, the modem connects to an Apple Airport Extreme.

CSR: What's that?

Me: It's a wireless router (unsaid - just like it was last month when we did the same dance, and the month before, and the month before that).

CSR: Can you reboot anyway?

Me: It's a Macintosh, it won't have an effect.

CSR: Is there anything else plugged into the outlet with the modem?

Me: No, the modem and the Airport have their own UPS.

CSR: Well, there you go. Unplug that thing.

Me: A UPS is an uninterruptible power supply, basically a big surge suppressor and a battery pack so it still works when the power goes out (unsaid - oh gods, I got one of those service reps). It shouldn't have any effect.

CSR: Oh, I guess not. Does your cable television work?

Me: Yep.

CSR: Okay, connect the cable back to the modem and plug the modem back in.

Me: Okay. Only two lights on the front, just like before I unplugged it. There's no transmitting light and no online light.

CSR: Could you have bumped it when you were at your computer?

Me: My computer is about sixty feet from the modem in another room. The modem is in a corner between a printer and the wall so nothing can bump it (unsaid - can you tell yet I have been through this before?).

CSR: Can you check it now?

Me: It's a no go.

CSR: I thought you said your computer was sixty feet away.

Me: I did, but my Palm is in my pocket and it has wireless.

CSR: We don't sell wireless service in your area.

Me: I have a wireless router, an Apple Airport Extreme. It's connected to the modem.

CSR: So you do have a splitter on the cable line.

Me: No, the Airport connects over the Ethernet connection.

CSR: Is it a new addition?

Me: No, I've always had a wireless router connected to your modem. It was working yesterday when I checked my email and paid my bills.

CSR: Well, I will have to send out a serviceman.

Me: It's not on my end, it's on the other side of my cable in your network. That's why I am calling you.
Three hours later…

Smilin' Service Guy: I need to see the modem.

Grumpy Me: Can you just take my word that the problem isn't in the house, it's before it gets to the house?

SSG: That doesn't happen sir.

Me: Like it didn't happen two months ago?

SSG: Oh. Let me check something.

Twelve minutes later, everything is working.

Sometimes the technopagan knows what he is talking about.

Posted: Tue - September 8, 2009 at 11:46 AM
 ◊ 
 ◊  ◊  ◊  ◊ 

Random selections from NeoWayland's library


Technopagan Yearnings
© 2005 - 2010   All Rights Reserved