Love


It's what brings us together

The English word "love" is too limited.

When I learned that the Greeks had multiple words that all translated as "love," I knew we missed the boat.

Bear with me, I don't know very much Greek, and my translations may not be the best.

Eros is erotic love, possessiveness, a selfish love.

Agape or agaph is a selfless love, a self-giving love, self sacrifice that requires no reciprocation. Call this the "just because" love, although the appearance of agape is often used to cloak possessiveness. Christianity places a great deal of store by this love, although it can easily mask codependency and some really questionable behavior.

Philos is communal, brotherly love. To me, this is the kind of thing that happens when you talk about matters great and small around a campfire. Philos, philosopher. Obviously I value this kind of love. Sadly, it's one of the things that there is all too little of in my life.

Storge or storgh is familial love, the love of parents for children or children for parents. To a lessor extent, other relatives as well, although philos plays it's part there too.

Then there is philanthropia, roughly translating as for the benefit of humanity. It's become a cliche, but these days we hear of public philanthropy, we wonder what they are hiding. The ancients certainly didn't think like that, to their mind, it brought honor.

Here's my take, for what it's worth.

Any relationship that you have with any other person that uses only one of these loves is doomed to failure. Two is a bare minimum, three is better still. More than one dimension means you have more than one direction to move together. Commonality.

In my own Earthy* way, I call it the Pillow Talk Problem. Or if I'm feeling less charitable, the what-do-we-talk-about-after-fucking issue.

Too often, we have only one thing in common with the other person, and then wonder why we move apart. And rest assured, from my grand vista of wisdom and understanding, that never happens to me.

Well, hardly ever, says the paranoid semi-hermit.

Of course, there is no reason why we can't build a new dimension when we choose.

Today's a good time to start.
_____

*yes, that was a pun. I've been known to make those now and again.

Posted: Tue - November 17, 2009 at 02:41 PM
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