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Occasionally I wandered in where I was not wanted and gave truthful answers.
Sometimes I even did it deliberately. A little disruption now can prevent disaster later.

NeoNotes — “J'accuse ...!” - updated

First, I've no doubt that Mr. Klein was guilty.

Years ago there online there was a well-meaning (but naive) effort to create a voluntary sexual code of ethics for pagans. I joined to make sure that it wasn't going to be too onerous. The names of the others involved aren't important. When the code was mostly finished, I suggested that we include something about how sometimes people lie about rape. The Duke lacrosse team case was still fairly recent. While rape is a terrible thing and should be taken seriously, accusations about rape don't necessarily prove rape.

Honestly, I also knew a couple of men who had been convicted as sexual offenders who hadn't actually been sexual offenders.

Anyway, those in the group discussed it back and forth. We pretty much agreed that women sometimes lie about rape and the code needed to take that into account. We added one small paragraph that said accusations of rape didn't necessarily mean rape.

When we opened up the talk to others, that bit about rape lying was flamed. We were told that there was no possible way that women could lie about rape and that that the very idea proved that we weren't serious.

Yeah, I'm the guy who derailed it without meaning to. That's why I am not mentioning the names of the others involved. I'm owning the action, although I still think I was right. The whole effort quietly vanished and the people involved never mentioned it again. Except me, when I sometimes make a point.

Personally I have two hard-and-fast set-in-stone practical sexual rules. The first is consenting adults only. The second is if you promised to be someone's one-and-only, you are off limits.

But yes, false allegations exist. It's one of the very few justifications that I see for police. Rape and sexual assault are terrible things and should be investigated, confirmed, and punished. But accusations do not equal fact. There have been more than enough high profile cases to show that, particularly in our universities.

I have not met Mr. Klein. A higher profile doesn't tell me about character. It doesn't tell me about honor. And it certainly doesn't tell me about sexual behavior and ethics.

There is certainly a strong sexual element in some forms of magick. And that's one of the very few things where I agree with Oberon Zell-Ravenheart, Christians have screwed up society with their attitudes confusing sexuality, nudity, and love.

I'm a childless unmarried male, so I usually stay out of conversations about raising kids. I also believe that you can't childproof the world, you can only worldproof your kids.

And since my insomnia is not going to let up, I think I will go find some breakfast.

I don't.

I won't speak for the others, that is another reason I didn't mention names.

But I do know that false accusations occur. And not just about rape. There are some people who use false allegations to get power over. That's been happening for longer than humans have had societies.

I didn't say it happened in this case.

But we should acknowledge that is does happen. Especially before we hand out Moral Proclamations From On High.

Nudity is not the problem. Sex is not the problem. Sexual acts with children ARE the problem.

Don't mess with kids. Consenting adults.

I specifically said "Rape and sexual assault are terrible things and should be investigated, confirmed, and punished."

But I also said "…accusations about rape don't necessarily prove rape."

We owe it to Lady Justice and ourselves to find a balance between the two.


"American pagans are less inhibited than most of our neighbors. We may show flesh in more varieties than you have ever dreamt of, we may talk and ESPECIALLY sing about sex, but the boundaries are still clear. Just because someone arouses you doesn’t mean they are interested in sex with you. Even if they do show you more body parts than you’ve ever seen outside a bedroom.

We hug. We cuddle. We may even kiss. But that doesn’t mean we allow just any fingers or faces into our nether regions. That doesn’t mean you get to cop a feel. When you ask for sex, it’s always the other person’s choice."

NeoNotes are the selected comments that I made on other boards, in email, or in response to articles where I could not respond directly.

ETA: Link from Cherry Hill Seminary, Don't Look Away.

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