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Occasionally I wandered in where I was not wanted and gave truthful answers.
Sometimes I even did it deliberately. A little disruption now can prevent disaster later.

Snap out of it!

This is a page from the third version of Technopagan Yearnings. There are some formatting differences. Originally published at www.neowayland.com/C550866538/E20090611140221

Neo got kidnapped

I wish I could say I was too busy to keep things updated. I wish I could say I was too consumed with matters esoteric to make regular entries.

I can't.

Sometimes my mood swings mean that it's all I can do to keep The-Job-That-Pays-The-Bills. Depression is a terrible thing and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. All I can do is hold on and ride it out. Sure there are medications and doctors who might be able to help. But I am paranoid. Depression makes my paranoia worse. When I start planning on how to murder the doctor, that's not really a good place for me to be.

What is does do is illustrate something that I find important. It's not the will that provides the punch behind what you do, it's the emotion. I don't care if it's magick or a ten foot mural. Passion gives you the energy, not an act of will.

Shaped by thought and driven by passion.

When your heart is divided, you won't accomplish anything. You won't have the energy or drive. You may have made the decision, but until you back your choice with all your heart, it will take everything you have and more just to make the smallest steps.

Sort of like hanging on when the car is out of control.

Your will may be an 880 pound gorilla, but it doesn't matter if you don't have your own heart behind it. That is where the power is.

The heart is where the miracles are.

Will is about knowledge and control. Passion is about what you feel and what is done. Two different things, and it can rip you apart when they are in opposition.

It's Stan and Ollie again. Stan can perform miracles, but only if Ollie doesn't tell him he can't.

Although I haven't touched on soulweaving in this blog, a big part of it is getting the extra emotion out of the way so that the will and the heart are together again. Passion may drive everything, but passion without direction is more dangerous than will without passion. Wrap yourself in hate and there won't be enough of you left for anything else. Wrap yourself in obsession and you cut yourself off from everyone except those who share your passion.

The only way your passion can grow is by sharing it.

It's not enough to go to the mountain. You have to come back. You have to tell what you found. You have to pass around the pictures and the souvenirs.

Oh, how did I "snap out of it?" Two very determined friends came over to my house and gave me a replica Star Trek communicator and phaser. The tricoder is supposed to be shipped today. Then they took me out to the new movie, which I hadn't seen yet. They cheated. They didn't try to reason with me. They talked to Stan who dragged Ollie along for the ride. Stan got excited, Ollie got blindsided.

Moral of the story: Never piss off your friends, sometimes they save you from your own worst impulses.

Posted: Thu - June 11, 2009 at 02:02 PM

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A narrow slice of life, but now and again pondering American neopaganism, modern adult pagans & the World.

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