Guest Article # 1 - Ostara's Day

Tongue in cheek (and other places)

I know this one is almost too late, but it's not Don's fault, it's mine.

Ostara’s Day

By Donald Meinshausen

Ostara is the name of an ancient northern Goddess and a Spring holiday. Here we get rabbit. However she was not seen as the progenitor of the current fluffy bunny tradition. To those that claim that She is I am willing to split hares. Colored eggs were to dye for, as they were a symbol of fertility for those who could get the yolk. Maybe this is the reason that the eggs were always hidden. With so many eggs one dozen ask. No shell game here.

There was the Old Norse custom of making new clothes and shoes during the cold winter months. Then there was the showing them during the Spring, as was the fashion. The only shoes you could associate with Good Friday and Easter were cross-training shoes. I won’t even talk about cross-dressing.

Easter Parade, the only popular song connected with this holiday shows how this holiday has so degenerated into a materialistic farce that not even a drag queen would participate in it. Since gay men determine fashion for straight women. I as a straight man allow butch lesbians to determine my wardrobe.

I have decided to throw my hat in the ring and tailor some alterations to this popular song to restore the holiday and its song to its original fit. Here less is more. Here I use the fertility of my imagination, which has become a horniness of not plenty. This is making me an Easter basket case with an egg-sistential dilemma.

Take off your Ostara Bonnet
And put your clothes upon it
And I’ll make you the happiest Lady
On Ostara’s Day

I’ll roll you in the clover
And when it’s finally over
We’ll be the happiest couple
On Ostara’s Day

I’ll be having you
On the Avenue
The photographers will snap us
And we’ll make a fortune off the video

Oh I could write a sonnet
If you’d say yes, doggone it
And make me the happiest fella
On Ostara’s Day

This article is Copyright © by Donald Meinshausen.
All rights reserved. Quotes may be used for noncommercial purposes provided credit is given. For commercial purposes, please contact the author directly.

Disclaimer - The views expressed in the article are the author's own, I am not responsible for them. I do believe that article is worth careful thought, and I'd like to thank the author for agreeing to let my Technopagan Yearnings website host the article.

On the other hand, it's Earthy and Pagan and I approve.

Posted: Sun - April 12, 2009 at 01:00 PM
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