Picking up the pieces

My black suit came back from the cleaners torn.

About the only time I wear it these days is to funerals. It's an old suit and I need to replace it.

There have been too many funerals this last year.

Maybe not so many on a cosmic scale, but too many for my taste. I watched a friend and former lover slowly die, gracefully, the way I'd like to die if I could plan it.

And I have been watching my stepfather slowly die, in the one of the most ungraceful ways possible.

Along the way, I've lost other friends. Some meant a great deal to me, others not so much.

Along the way, I've had people ask for my help.

I still don't understand my particular gifts well enough to know what is the thing that tells me this person absolutely needs me and that person does not. I just know that when it happens, I can't ignore it. Most of the time it is listening and remembering. Sometimes it is more. Most of the time they don't know what they need or what I do. There are times it is so tied up in my intuition that I couldn't tell you what I do from person to person.

I can deal with death. I just have a hard time dealing with other people dealing with death. I can't do it anymore without sharing. They feel better but I don't.

I don't deal well with hospitals, so I avoid casual visits.

I will add funerals to that.

I need to buy a new suit.

Posted: Tue - October 10, 2006 at 05:54 PM
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