NeoWayland's Technopagan Yearnings

Thu - July 2, 2009

Open the Way

One title of my personal Patron god translates roughly as "Opener of the Way."

That's all you get this time around. I try like blazes not to mention Names.

Anyway, like a great many things in religion, the title has multiple meanings on multiple levels. Despite temptation and my low and base nature, I'm not going to dwell on the obvious sexual one. Sometimes it's amazingly fun to be the priest.

This is the Guy who knows where the best fishing spot is. This is the Guy who knows the glade where the deer are calm enough to get within an arm's length. This is the Guy who knows the secret spot where the sun peeks out first.

In the city, this is the Guy who knows how to get there faster. This is the Guy who can find the one working payphone in a ten block range. This is the Guy who can be there and gone before you knew you needed to go.

Sounds pretty sweet right? Just the Guy you needed to know, right?

Here's what I haven't told you. Yet.

That fishing spot? Sure it's the best around and the fish always bite. But to get to it, you have to crawl about a hundred feet along a cliff face high over a canyon with your finger and toe tips. There's no place to hold your fishing rod except your teeth.

To reach that glade, you have to pass a Buick sized wasp nest and cave that has been hosting some sort of large carnivore recently.

That secret spot where the sun peeks out is at the top of an old pine tree with uncertain footing. Some of the branches crack when you put weight on them.

Sure the Guy knows the best ways to get there, but you take your life in your hands every time you follow his directions.

That shortcut in the city means going up a fire escape and through five locked utility doors, at least one of which may be wired to an alarm.

And that pay phone works because it has defenders who will want to be paid. Assuming they let you get close in the first place.

An interesting Guy, to say the least. Master of wildernesses urban and natural, he can Open the Way. If you are willing to pay the Price.

He's not the portal, nor is he the Warden. His job isn't to keep the nasties out, it's to Find a Way Through.

That's what makes his esoteric instructions a bit risky. Strike that. Not a bit risky, highly risky.

His intervention is always chancy. Which I suppose is only fitting, since the Guy will tell you at great length that he invented games of chance and gambling.

He doesn't exactly break the rules, the Guy replaces the rules with ones He wrote. And yes, the Guy gets off on the excitement. He grooves on the risk, laughing all the way.

He's my Patron and I honor Him. But you better believe I think twice before asking for His help.

—

Posted: Thu - July 2, 2009 at 03:25 PM
Permalink ◊ ◊ ◊

Tue - June 30, 2009

Relics of faith

Okay, this is probably an example of where it is better to keep my mouth shut than to say anything at all.

It doesn't matter, I have to lay out the irony anyway.

In most Christian traditions, Saul of Tarsus wasn't a disciple of Jesus Christ, but he was called an apostle. This label has been disputed by some.

What is known is that Pauline Christianity almost totally displaced the versions that came before it.

There are several theories that suggest Paul wasn't exactly what he claimed. One of the most popular versions (and certainly the most fun to read) was laid out in Holy Blood, Holy Grail. It suggested that Paul was a Roman plant intended to derail the Christian movement. In fact, that book went as far to link him to a legend of the Liar.

According to many Gnostic beliefs, the god of the Bible isn't the Creator god, he's an egotistical ungrateful offspring who has supplanted his parents and stolen the worship of humanity.

There's also a strong argument that even in the early Christian Church, the Bishop of Rome wasn't supposed to assume primacy over all other bishops (and eventually Archbishops) to become the Pope.

So with all that in mind, I can't read a news article like this and keep a straight face.

Yes, it could absolutely be true and I would not want to disparage any beliefs.

However, from a certain point of view, it could just be the bones of a liar who set out to destroy a religious movement whose enemies dressed up in it's remains to seize power over the hearts and minds of mankind, all while serving a godling who had to depose his progenitors to be worshipped.

That's irony for you. And silliness too.

What's even more ironic is that the highly fragmented picture of Yeshua bin Joseph that has descended to us indicates pretty strongly that he was less interested in an established church (or temple in his case) and more focused on a direct connection to the Divine. With the exception of the writings attributed to Paul, most of the New Testament hints pretty strongly at this. Some of the other texts such as The Gospel of Thomas make it even clearer.

It wasn't about the history. It was about the experience. After all, one translation of gnosis is "knowledge from experience."

Which is why it catches the attention of a technopagan like me.

Let them have their claims and beliefs.

But there is a part of me that can't help smiling because the "authorities" have proved their enemies case for them. Even if I am not one of those enemies, I can still find it amusing. The difference between revelation and experience.

Live your own story. Make up your own mind. And find your own connection to the Divine.

—

Posted: Tue - June 30, 2009 at 03:48 PM
Permalink ◊ ◊ ◊

Stolen from my private note file

I'm having a terrible time thinking of a worthwhile entry today. So I am going to try something completely different.

I carry a Palm. It's more than just a datebook and address file, it's where I jot down ideas, copy/paste things I want to remember, and put all sorts of notes on things I want to remember later. This isn't exhaustive studies, more of clippings and tickle entries to remind me later. I don't worry about spelling or grammar, I just put down thoughts.

For example, here's a recipe for one of my favorite summer drinks.

Half fill a water glass with ice.

Put in one and a half fingers of lemon juice from concentrate poured slowly down the inside edge of the glass.

Put in one finger of lime juice poured slowly down the opposite inside edge of the glass so it sits on the lemon juice.

Very slowly, fill up the rest of the glass with V8 juice.

If you have done it right, you can see three separate and distinct layers of juice.

Top with a few drops of Tabasco sauce.

Drink with a straw.

The flavor will change as you sip, the ice melts, and the juices slowly mingle.

But let's go to something completely different.

Here are some selections from my Individualist Notes in my Studies file.

Individualist Notes - Category *Studies

Wisdom blends knowledge, experience, discipline, and compassion. Without wisdom, any human endeavor dooms itself.

Individualist philosphy -
Help others achieve their potiential
Join in common goals
Agree to disagree

Say halaljah and praise the process

"Faith manages." - Babylon 5

"If you're falling off a mountain, you might as well try to fly" - Babylon 5

Training - "This is a process that works". Drill and repeat.
Corrective - Process and measurement set by higher authority.
Standard - Process set by regulated, measurement set by higher authority.
Empowered - Goals set by higher authority, measurement set by mutual agreement of regulated and higher authority, process set by regulated.

"Cardinal Principles of Post Modern Technology"
Minaturization - Digitization - Synthesis

"Specialization is for insects" - Robert Heinlien

Laws-Shalt Nots vs Shalts with Process

Manuals should contain 3 levels of complexity (I used to write manuals in my Corporate Clone days)
Refresher - little more than a list of steps
Brief - explanation of basic features
Analysis - exhaustive

Washington Effect - With partial or confusing data, most will choose either a known quanity or a feel good solutions

Normalacy Illusion - Nothing's wrong if the trains run on time.

Tech needs fuzz factors when dealing with humans. Fuzz is designed into a system to deal with humans. A hack is a way to work around the system to deal with humans.

Mistakes that the early christian church made: confininement of God to a church and imposistion of a hierarcy (paternalistic mode)

Five Ferengi Stages of Acquistion-
Infatuation, Justification, Appropriation, Obsession, Resale

Experiment, Experience, Excite, Explore

Four Corporate Waves - Adapted from cogley?
First Wave - Commando - Establish A Presense
Second Wave - Infantry - Crush the Opposistion
Third Wave - Police - Maintain the infrastructure
Fourth Wave - Cash - Buy as needed

I think there is crossover between thought systems and magick. It's one reason I flit from technology to magick to politics to history to art to music to design…

Well, you get the idea.

Anyway, there you have it. An example of my free-form thinking when I am more on my game.

—

Posted: at 12:33 PM
Permalink ◊ ◊ ◊

St. John's Wort and Depression

I don't intend to make this blog a discussion of Pagans and depression, but there are some issues that come up from time to time.

In my experience, SJW does work to take the edge off of depression. However, it takes daily doses for about three weeks to build up enough in your system to start having an effect. It also works better if you get out of the depression before you start taking regular doses.

When you've established a regimen, watch for the side effects. After about two months of regular doses, you can prevent the worst of the side effects by taking a break for a week or two every six weeks. Less than six weeks and the St. John's Wort just stops working at all.

Be sure you track how much you take and when you take it. Like any medication, try to take it at the same time every day.

—

Posted: at 11:41 AM
Permalink ◊ ◊ ◊

Fri - June 26, 2009

Lightning and ritual

So it's three a.m. on Thursday and I am sipping some iced lemon/lime water pretending that I don't have insomnia, and half the eastern sky lights up in a flash. About a minute or so later, I hear the low rumble and feel the subsonics of the thunder.

Something in me instantly decides that very moment is when I need to open the box and let out my new Leatherman Charge TTi and learn it's mysteries. Yes, I got the extra bits and the extender.

It actually did start with me lighting a candle on my desk, which isn't usually one of my altars, but it is where I do much of my fine tool work.

Part of this is really a guy thing, you have to have and use tools. Part of it is the whole utility belt envy I have going. Part of it is the calming ritual I have using tools.

Of course this gave me an excuse to breakout my stepdad's old tool box and start cleaning it up. The front has pull out drawers and it can live on top of a utility cart I have next to me desk. If I put my small hand tools in it, along with the items for my three tool pouches, I should just about be good. Taking bits out, packing them, attaching them where it will be handy. And after a job well done, reversing. Yep, that should hold me.

At least until the tools start calling my name again.

By now of course you may know what's happened. I've used all the various tools set in the Charge TTi, changed all the bits and used both sides of each, checked to see if the bits can be used in my multibit screwdriver (they can, which expands THAT tools usefulness) and just generally run around the house taking things apart and putting them back together. Part of this is because, hey, it's there and I can, and part of this is because I am getting my hands and fingers used to working with this tool.

My plan is at the end of each week, I'll empty my #2 tool pouch (formerly #1) which lives in my computer case and my #3 tool pouch (formerly #2) which lives on my belt most days. I'll have the tools to set up for #1 for special purposes, but it will have the Leatherman Charge and a mini Mag-Lite at it's core.

Part of all this messing with tools is to try to channel some of the depression orgone into something that I really enjoy. So yes, there is even a Pagan-related purpose here.

Or at least a technopagan one…

—

Posted: Fri - June 26, 2009 at 07:19 AM
Permalink ◊ ◊ ◊

Tue - June 23, 2009

Making the world go round

I'm going to cover something else pretty fundamental today, just to get it out there.

I'll never be Neo the Ultimate Party Dude, but when I am on my game, I "spark" people. I give more than I get.

On my down cycles, I'm crotchety, cranky, and don't want to have anything to do with humanity as a species or people as individuals. At that point I take more than I give back. Energy sink, that's how I am then. I'm caustic, hard to be around, and people have to really like me to put up with some of my behavior. When I bother to interact at all.

I wouldn't mind so much except that I'm not always able to choose just which way I will be.

But even a (sometimes) semi-recluse hermit like me has to admit that it's really about how you touch other people.

No, not literally. Although that is not a bad idea. WEG.

See, humanity is a colony organism. As individuals, we're at our best when we're trying to fit in with other people. Sometimes yes, that's physically with our lovers in sex or afterwards. Sometimes it's physically with the people we love, but not sexually, our family and friends that we hug and cuddle with. Sometimes it's with the people who stretch our minds, the people we agree with and the "respected opposition" that we disagree with.

We need the human touch. We need our ideas and expectations challenged. We need to test ourselves.

We need to trust ourselves and our thinking.

Without other people, it's mental masturbation. It's one person looking in the mirror proclaiming how great everything is.

None of us can afford that.

It's easy to hang out with people who share the same ideas. But try putting your ideas where you know where every assumption will be questioned. Among Pagans, I'm in a minority because I am not a progressive. Among libertarians, I'm a minority because I am a "person of faith." Among "people of faith," I'm a minority because I follow an Earth centered modern faith system.

Unless we're willing to have our ideas examined, we'll never learn to see the weaknesses in our thinking.

Now the mystic in me will tell you it's all about the orgone exchange. The more "threads" we send out and share with others. the more orgone we send out and the more orgone we take in. That's why a good group revitalizes you. They touch your threads, you touch theirs, and those threads do a dance that borders on erotic. The more passion, the more movement.

But the key thing here is that funny word share.

If you wrap yourself in your own thoughts to keep the world at bay, that's what will happen. It could happen because you are depressed (expert speaking here). It could be because you are so convinced of the virtue and merit of your own thoughts, you aren't willing to accept the thoughts of others.

That might have happened to me a time or two.

You can't just shove your thoughts in someone else's face. You have to accept that they will test your ideas. They'll poke, they'll prod, they'll pull. The more people you share with, the better your ideas will be tested.

And if you are smart you'll listen to what other people will tell you. You'll accept what they give back.

Look around and you'll find the people who care about you enough to lie about what they think. You need to find the people who care enough to tell you the truth. Even if it's a truth you don't like. Trust them to be honest and be honest in return. Even if you don't agree.

Especially if you don't agree.

Are there people around you that respect the truth enough to share it with you? Do you return the honor?

The measure of a human is found in the lives he touches.

—

Posted: Tue - June 23, 2009 at 11:53 AM
Permalink ◊ ◊ ◊

Sun - June 21, 2009

The Longest Day (a little late)

I know this is a little late, but here is the updated picture. It's a solar flare.

I plan to do some sun worshipping today.

Go enjoy the outdoors.

—

Posted: Sun - June 21, 2009 at 06:53 AM
Permalink ◊ ◊ ◊

Thu - June 18, 2009

A little slice of mind

Human behavior fascinates me.

That's not exactly accurate. Human social behavior fascinates me.

As a child, I didn't pattern on all the little social interactions that make our culture work. It means that as an adult, I had to understand those interactions intellectually before I could make them a part of my emotional and social makeup. It's the so-called "alien syndrome" and it's common with incipient geeks and those with Asperger's syndrome.

Believe me, it's much easier to pattern it to begin with. As it is, some of my emotional actions and reactions are slightly offset from normal. I don't always understand that at first until I see the reactions of those around me. Sort of a look like they bit into a rotten apple with a worm. And then I have to figure out why.

I suspect that is what makes me good at what I do. I overlook the things I am supposed to focus on and latch onto the things I am supposed to overlook. And if I am in an uncomfortable or unusual situation, I pay even closer attention.

Well, that and Coyote probably permanently warped my viewpoint. *grins*

Anyway, to get to my highly-vaunted (ahem) level of competence, I spend time studying, thinking, experimenting, and practicing. I call it the Hat Trick. All the "oohs" and "aaahhs" are for the razzle-dazzle in a moment of theatre, but never for the work that happened before. People pay attention to the Hat Trick, the final amazing result, but they almost always ignore all the preparation over years that made it possible. The Hat Trick seems obvious in retrospect, but only because somebody like me (or a lot of somebodys like me) went along and mapped out the trail beforehand.

Sometimes that means I have to study and think about things that I don't particularly agree with so I can at least understand the thinking behind the ideas.

That's what happened when I started reading The Tender Carnivore and the Sacred Game by Paul Shepard. I just couldn't get into it, there was too much "humanity has doomed the Earth." I also had some problems with his central premise that all of the changes were due to breeding and none of it had anything to do with the mental and emotional processes.

Usually when things get that bad, it's best to offset the book with something that deals with a similar topic but from a totally different perspective and with a totally different conclusion. In this case I chose Animals Make Us Human: Creating the Best Life for Animals by Temple Grandin and Catherine Johnson. I'm enjoying it much more, we'll see how well it offsets the other. Hopefully I can use both to bring me greater understanding about each.

I know it's not strictly Pagan, but it is part of my studies. I never know what will prove useful under what circumstances.

And sometimes not even then.

That's a joke. You can sometimes tell by the pause before the punchline.

"I know you're there, I can hear you breathing."

That's a bad joke straight from the days of vaudeville.

See, I do study.

—

Posted: Thu - June 18, 2009 at 07:33 AM
Permalink ◊ ◊ ◊

So does my tool fetish really qualify as a fetish?

Well, I think so.

I draw strength and understanding and calming from handling tools. I feel diminished when they've been taken from me without my permission.

I do the other fetishes too. I have black leather wrist cuffs. I usually wear a "Pagan" pendent, (it's the waning moon, so it's my bear medicine shield today). I've been known to wear a bear claw or a shark's tooth. In my younger days, I even wore one of those Avon arrowhead pendents (hey, it was the late 1970s, at least I didn't wear the disco suit).

I've been experimenting with body paint for rituals.

So I do know a little something about fetishes.

Draw you own conclusions.

But I would invite you to consider why you believe "modern" tools can't be fetishes…

—

Posted: at 06:54 AM
Permalink ◊ ◊ ◊

Tue - June 16, 2009

Tool fetish

I've talked about my tool fetish before. It's a big reason I call myself a technopagan.

A well-made tool thrums under my fingertips. It doesn't matter if it's a obsidian knife or a ball-peen hammer, a good tool just wants to be used. Or at least that is how my mind and body react.

I can't sit quietly without handling something. When I was a kid, I drove my female relatives nuts because I would play almost unconsciously with their chotckies and knickknacks and playpretties. It's better these days, I usually carry something with me.

So of course something like this Popular Mechanics article gets me going. I start comparing what I have with the suggestions and planning to get what I think I need. I'm not so hot at plumbing and carpentry, and I don't always think in those terms.

I've said before it's not just a fetish in the magickal sense, although it certainly is that. I have a physical response to certain tools that borders on the sexual. That thrum thrills me in ways I can't really explain well.

So of course when I am feeling low. it's time to break out the tools. To sort them ever carefully. To touch them. To surround myself with them. And yes, I know that has more than a hint of OCD and it's probably related to my Asperger syndrome. It doesn't matter. It happens most when I am stressed and it helps me to cope.

Besides the basic tools which live in my tool boxes, I carry tool pouches. I've experimented with several over the years and settled on what I felt was a pretty good system.

My Number 2 tool pouch was small and inconspicuous enough to live on my belt for every day use, while my Number 1 tool pouch lived in the side pocket of my computer bag. I recently upgraded my Micro-Plus™ 8-in-1multitool with a Micro-Max™ 19-in-1 multitool. That's the second upgrade to that particular tool.

That got me to thinking. Although there is nothing like a tool designed for the purpose, I have almost enough tools to go with three tool pouches instead of two. If I made my "everday" pouch Number 3 and my computer bag pouch Number two, I still have a bulky tool pouch and a few special tools that could be Number 1. All I would need is a upgraded Leatherman with a few extra bits and I am good to go.

I'll admit I am more particular when it comes to my magick kits. I've yet to come up with a general purpose one, I usually end up picking and choosing based on the situation.

Still, a tool fetish is a tool fetish. And my "mundane" tools are not only useful, but they can calm me down without attracting too much extra attention. Books still beat out tools to spend money on, but not by much.

So watch around. If you ever see a guy in glasses with a short beard and hair pulled back in a bear tail mumbling over a small selection of multitools, it just might be me.

—

Posted: Tue - June 16, 2009 at 01:46 PM
Permalink ◊ ◊ ◊

Thu - June 11, 2009

Front door and back door

And you just thought I was finished for the day…

The weather has been very mild. Here it is, June 11th and I think there has been one day that the temperature was in the triple digits. Maybe there's been five days I've had the cooler on. That's unusual for the Arizona desert, even a high one like mine.

It's been breezy though, almost perfect kite flying weather.

I can appreciate it more out my back door in the back yard. That's my piece of nature, complete with privacy fence. That's where my sun patio is. That's where my outdoor ritual area is. That is where my vegetable patch is.

If I go out the front door, the car is parked in the driveway, the street is right there, and the weather becomes a Political Topic™.

In the front, I have to wear shoes and pants. I can't spit, I can't belch, and I can't fart. I dare not look too closely at the nicely developing fifteen year old who lives down the street. I have to take care of pesky things like bills and keeping my front lawn looking nice so the neighbors don't complain.

The front of the house is the mask I wear to live among humans.

The backyard is where my secret heart lives. it's where I can put my bare feet in the soil and wiggle my toes. It's where my Name is engraved on the wind. It's my touchstone, it reminds me where I am from, and it whispers where I am going.

Far back in the ancient mists of mundane civilization, our backyards used to be without fences. You could move from one to another without gates. The front yards were for Show, but the backyards were where the people gathered. Sometimes the meal just moved from place to place. I'm lucky, I remember times and places where that was true.

Now the backyard has become our refuge because we can't deal constantly with what lies outside the front door.

I'm typing this in my sanctum, the NeoDen, the ultimate refuge. But even though it has a door that leads out front, I usually go back through the library and the house. I want to protect it.

If it rains here, it's rain. Out front, it's inconvenient and possibly a Political Topic™. If the sun shines though the solar tube on me now, it's a kiss from the Divine. Out front, it's something to be complained about.

You know, my favorite place for sunbathing (and moonbathing too) is the roof, but I have to wear trunks there. It's in civilization. My backyard isn't, even though it's surrounded by civilization.

My wild heart lives out the back door.

—

Posted: Thu - June 11, 2009 at 06:06 PM
Permalink ◊ ◊ ◊

Snap out of it!

I wish I could say I was too busy to keep things updated. I wish I could say I was too consumed with matters esoteric to make regular entries.

I can't.

Sometimes my mood swings mean that it's all I can do to keep The-Job-That-Pays-The-Bills. Depression is a terrible thing and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. All I can do is hold on and ride it out. Sure there are medications and doctors who might be able to help. But I am paranoid. Depression makes my paranoia worse. When I start planning on how to murder the doctor, that's not really a good place for me to be.

What is does do is illustrate something that I find important. It's not the will that provides the punch behind what you do, it's the emotion. I don't care if it's magick or a ten foot mural. Passion gives you the energy, not an act of will.

Shaped by thought and driven by passion.

When your heart is divided, you won't accomplish anything. You won't have the energy or drive. You may have made the decision, but until you back your choice with all your heart, it will take everything you have and more just to make the smallest steps.

Sort of like hanging on when the car is out of control.

Your will may be an 880 pound gorilla, but it doesn't matter if you don't have your own heart behind it. That is where the power is.

The heart is where the miracles are.

Will is about knowledge and control. Passion is about what you feel and what is done. Two different things, and it can rip you apart when they are in opposition.

It's Stan and Ollie again. Stan can perform miracles, but only if Ollie doesn't tell him he can't.

Although I haven't touched on soulweaving in this blog, a big part of it is getting the extra emotion out of the way so that the will and the heart are together again. Passion may drive everything, but passion without direction is more dangerous than will without passion. Wrap yourself in hate and there won't be enough of you left for anything else. Wrap yourself in obsession and you cut yourself off from everyone except those who share your passion.

The only way your passion can grow is by sharing it.

It's not enough to go to the mountain. You have to come back. You have to tell what you found. You have to pass around the pictures and the souvenirs.

Oh, how did I "snap out of it?" Two very determined friends came over to my house and gave me a replica Star Trek communicator and phaser. The tricoder is supposed to be shipped today. Then they took me out to the new movie, which I hadn't seen yet. They cheated. They didn't try to reason with me. They talked to Stan who dragged Ollie along for the ride. Stan got excited, Ollie got blindsided.

Moral of the story: Never piss off your friends, sometimes they save you from your own worst impulses.

—

Posted: at 02:02 PM
Permalink ◊ ◊ ◊

Tue - June 2, 2009

Groups

It's pretty bad when your first three topics don't want to write themselves. It's worse when you look at the Pagan blogosphere and nothing leaps out at you. You know you've struck a dry well when even the forums you frequent don't inspire.

I guess that leads more or less back into one of the topics I was thinking about.

I've been thinking about Pagan groups lately. That's not surprising, considering what I have been reading.

There was a time I would have given a lot to belong to a coven or circle or grove. Not an online group, but something where you can actually see the people you are talking with, raise a glass or two, laugh and belch and argue fine points of pure and applied philosophy far into the night and well into the next afternoon.

But, and that is a really big "but," most of the groups aren't worth it.

Now I know some of you are going to take offense, but hear me out.

Let's take as a working assumption that a real Pagan group is going to be about the magick and the gods. Or maybe about the gods and the magick.

So where does that put all the political activists and "Pagan community" groups? If that is going to be their focus, well and good, but it's not about the gods and the magick, is it? I'm not saying that those groups don't serve a purpose, even though I probably don't agree with it. I'm just saying that those are groups first, and the Paganism is a distant second or fourth. And yes, I am a big one for manifesting your beliefs in actions that can change the world. But calling a group Pagan just because of it's membership doesn't cut it.

This is a hard distinction to make because so much of the modern (read post 1950s) Pagan movement was tied up in the various protest movements of the 1950s, 1960s, and 1970s. Are those battles won or lost? Well, I suppose it depends on the battle, but I would call most of them won. And those battles really don't have that much to do with the full moon (Lady in the Court of Starts) in a week or so. Personally I am not interested in women's rights or minority rights, I'll just settle for treating everyone as if they had equal rights.

Then we come to the victim groups. While showing off your current wounds and old scars may bring some temporary surcease, that isn't going to let you heal. It's not going to make you a better person, and it certainly won't bring you closer to the Divine. Using that logic, you might as well cut off your fingers and toes, or your feet and hands. At some point, you'll run out of things to sacrifice.

Either you heal or you endure, but your pain doesn't grant you power over another. Pay attention to that bit, it might be important.

Modern Pagans attract more than our fair share of the victims. I've learned that we do them no favors by enabling their victimhood.

Then we get to the social groups. Again, they're important, but they aren't exactly Pagan.

And at this point, I have to be honest. Even a few years back, I would have looked for one of these groups, even as I told myself I was looking for something else. I wouldn't have been honest with myself or others. And I suspect that most people would do the same.

There is another type of group I haven't talked about yet, and that is the cult of personality. Fortunately they're pretty easy to spot, so I don't have to go into detail.

What does that leave us?

Well, a Pagan group is going to be about the gods and the magick.

There's one really big scary-ass implication there.

Anyone who really joins a Pagan group will do some growing up.

It's all about the transformation. Magick is the essence of change and evolution. Gods make you stretch. The Story is not the Journey.

The blade has two edges.

You can't touch others without being touched. You can't change the world without being touched. The magick flows through you and shapes you as surely as it does the universe. Just something to think about.

No fortress
No armor
Just me and the magick
Of Blade and Shaft

My SPEAR burns and tears
Yet it only reflects
Flame and Wind at my core
Drawn from Earth and Water
Bound in Spirit

"Save and protect us!" you cry
"May I strike true!" says me

Know the secret
Attacking, I am attacked
Wounding, I am wounded
Sacrificing, I am sacrificed
First and Final Reflection

I like that piece, it's one of my more striking ones. Pun intended.

Like I said, I don't think that most of the groups are worth it.

But then, I don't think that right now I could do what a real Pagan group demands.

—

Posted: Tue - June 2, 2009 at 02:21 PM
Permalink ◊ ◊ ◊

Technowhizzes I have known

Word to the wise