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Occasionally I wandered in where I was not wanted and gave truthful answers.
Sometimes I even did it deliberately. A little disruption now can prevent disaster later.

Dark Side Instinct

This is a page from the third version of Technopagan Yearnings. There are some formatting differences. Originally published at www.neowayland.com/C188389413/E20081103072617

Another reason why the peace-love-freedom-happiness bit annoys me

We're not going to be politically correct on this one.

The Wheel has turned and those of us in the Northern Hemisphere have entered the Winter Realm once again.

I keep running into these people who tell me that sweetness and light and virtue will save the world. Sometimes it's all I can do to keep from snapping their heads off.

I've not talked about it much on this blog, but it's no secret that my first serious studies of magick leaned towards the Left Hand Paths. Before that time in my life, I was depressed. Then I met someone. I was in love, there was sex, there was blood, there was sex, there was scarification, and there was sex. I was more hooked on the intensity than love, I was desperate to feel something, anything. Aside from a few fetishes and some very painful laser procedures to get rid of the scars, the whole experience left me with the sure and certain knowledge that the World works by balancing opposing forces.

That time also left me with a rather intense presence and some of the instincts of an emotional predator.

I am who I am. It was a difficult time, but the bright and dark passions helped me live through it. While I have those appetites, I don't always indulge. Not everyone likes rough sex. Blood doesn't arouse most people. With time, I've found other releases and other ways of indulging.

But I will tell you this. When I meet one of those sweetness and light types, there is a single idea that stirs in the back of my brain. I don't let it out, but it is there regardless.


Now if I can pick that up and have a near instinctive reaction, I promise you that others will too. It's a huge temptation. Because a predator knows that once he's penetrated that shield, there's no other resistance. Just a desperate seeking for emotional stability strong enough to support them. Which means a near total surrender and a helluva rush for the predator. The fight is arousing because of the surrender that follows.

No, it's not nice. Yes, it can lead to some pretty dark places. Yes, it can be devastating for the victim, even as the predator moves on to the next meal.

There are reasons that many gods have dualities. I talked about this briefly in Bridge to Avalon. Life and Death intertwine. Until most people acknowledge and feed their predator, all they will be is prey.

Does that mean that is the only option? Kill or be killed? Of course not. It just means that if you are shielding yourself from the world, you'll get lost. Not to mention drawing attention with that bright shiny thing you're waving around.

On the other hand, look at someone like Gandhi. He didn't use a shield because he balanced on opposing forces. He still knew what was around him and chose his path.

Shields aren't enough. You will walk among the claws that rip and the fangs that bite. It's the way of the world. Ignore it and you'll fall.

And be munched.

Posted: Mon - November 3, 2008 at 07:26 AM

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A narrow slice of life, but now and again pondering American neopaganism, modern adult pagans & the World.

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