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Occasionally I wandered in where I was not wanted and gave truthful answers.
Sometimes I even did it deliberately. A little disruption now can prevent disaster later.

In the moment

This is a page from the third version of Technopagan Yearnings. There are some formatting differences. Originally published at www.neowayland.com/C550866538/E20060131051148

Part of a IM conversation I had with Juliaki.

NeoWayland - don't mean to sound egotistical, but the writing takes a lot of energy when it is mine and not just me agreeing with someone else. Would love to do more of it, but I don't have the time or the energy to spare right now
I have a lot of it worked out in my head days before I ever sit down with a keyboard

Juliaki - speaking as someone who does it professionally, I know what you mean

which is why I'm all for you keeping it as a hobby...you don't have the time, effort, or energy to have it be something more right now, which is a wonderful assertion of your life path

still, I need to do it. And I need to make sure that there isn't a lot of crossover between the blogs. Think that bit on harassment blurred some of the borders in my mind. I started looking at faith as something that needed to be accommodated from a HR point of view. Wasn't the only factor, but certainly was a big one

was looking at it from a LEGAL point of view for gods sake


this is what happens when I am in a car for six hours singing along with the iPod

but is there actually separation between HR viewpoint and spiritual viewpoint, or are they simply different aspects of the same life?

when I wear my HR hat (which WAS getting a little dusty) I have to look at things from a different perspective. Personal values are less important than getting the job at hand done and minimizing conflict

so basically spirit doesn't exist in your body for that moment, right?

on the other hand, when I go before the gods, whether is kneeling before my altar or outside under the moon, I'm less concerned with what is "outside" and I am focused my connection to the Divine and other things that I have "inside" and bringing them out
it may exist, but it is not my PRIORITY
and blazes, you just did it to me again, didn't you?

but it also may not exist, which allows you to keep your priorities in the order that you desire?
did what?

well, I am not usually worried about PRIORITIES when I am focusing on the gods. I'm "in the moment"

life is just a chain of moments strung together by spirit and will

but I am not multitasking or splitting my attention by half listening and half going over my schedule or what I want for dinner or what it would be like to seduce that lady over there
I may plan the ritual some in advance and think about it quite a bit, but I am not referring to a checklist

at that point, my priority is not my PRIORITIES


as for what I meant, this looks very much like one of those conversations that should be posted at TPY. Do you mind?

I'm assuming you got distracted

lol...I'm still very much in post-ritual mode right now (and editing very dull standardized tests), so I'm not entirely focused on any one given thing


but life is an exercise in multitaskign
and yes, feel free to borrow the conversation so you don't have to worry about missed deadlines wink

no, I still have the other. Was thinking two

that works
but let me ask you one question.... when do you prioritize having your heart beat and when is that not a top priority for you?

I don't. But I know me, if I don't make time for the gods in my life, I will get caught by the next obsession that comes along

so why not make your connection to the gods something that works like a heartbeat?
sometimes it is very important to focus on the heartbeat...but it doesn't have to be something that is consciously focused on to be something that works all the time

because I was told to manifest my faith

wouldn't making it something that is part of you day and night, waking and sleeping, working and playing, for as long as you live (and possibly beyond) be a manifestation?

not enough

how do you manifest that which is not seen?

<==flashes on old Tom & Jerry cartoon when Jerry discovers invisible ink
seriously though
I think part of the point was to make it seen

so who is seeing it?

I have NO idea

so if it is supposed to be made so it can be seen, then how do you know that what you're doing will make it visible, if you don't know whose eyes are doing the looking?
case in point.... trying to show a beautiful abstract art painting in red and green to a colorblind person
are they able to see the beautiful interaction of the red and green, or do they just see more of the same grays?

I could get all "pontifical" here and claim I am doing it for The Ages, but I don't for a second believe that

lol...if you don't believe it, you know you'll have an uphill battle getting me to believe it
going from your speech-giving days of corporate clonedom... what is the most important consideration to have in the forefront of your mind when choosing how/what to give a speech about?
(Hint: Know your _________)

I really don't know. I can guess, but that is all that is, a guess. And it doesn't have much to do with giving speeches

still, if you are trying to manifest something so it is seen, knowing your audience could still be useful
because if your audience isn't geared up to see that which you are trying to manifest, then it won't be seen....your efforts won't bring about the desired results

I really do think it comes down to the difference between a revealed faith and an experienced one. when I was researching the Wounded Master thing, I was looking at some of the religious privations. In the west we're familiar with the Christian hermits and mystics, but other cultures have their holy men and women who did self torture too

probably the one that comes to mind in the whole western US thing involves the Sun Dance

I've met a few who I would call saint, and only a couple of them were Christian
Well, was thinking more of India, but yes, that too. Most Amerindians don't talk about blood rites to outsiders

most people in general don't talk about blood rites wink

okay, so I am weird

I remembered the first time I talked about blood aspects of both Wicca and witchcraft with some folks who had been "wiccan" for a long time
to say they were freaked out would be to put it mildly

<== matches my experience

what gets me is that this past weekend (among other things) is a blood festival

I'm a little biased about it. I did blood rites and scarification, I know some of the possibilities. Of course, I was probably thinking with the wrong head at the time...
but, at the risk of sounding cliche
How does that make YOU feel?

blood rites and such? powerful stuff when used properly... heck, it's why we keep supplies in the house to allow for the safe drawing of blood

scars can be pretty potent too. Helluva thing to get rid of though


which is why the tools we use don't leave scars

Would not wish that on anyone

well, at the time, scars were what we were going for
but that laser treatment. Not good.

>snip for personal details<

this guy doesn't like rengarb, does he?

the Witchvox article?

yes, little late in reading it this week

he's taking a lot of hate comments on it...I mostly agree with him that there's a time and place, and being out in a ritual setting isn't either

he does have a point though
but then, what do I know. I'm one of those nekkid pagans

well, you can get away with it out in an area that is warm enough

I'm thinking about modifying it a bit. Maybe a cloak occasionally. Desert winter is not nice to my joints

I can imagine...at this point, for public ritual I'm very much a jeans gal...for private ritual, I wear my robe

on the few times I work with others, I go with street clothes

I think it is not all that smart to wear RenFaire clothes to ritual...aside from safety issues, why dress up in the clothing of the era when it wasn't cool to do "witch things"
do they realize that they're dressing ala Inquisition?

not always no
some do and draw power from it

if they have to draw power from a fashion statement, it speaks a lot to their skill

In most cases, I think I would agree with you
however, there are times when it works to dress as what you fear. Or even dress as and mock what you fear
sympathetic magick

except that I don't think they're mocking or fearing the RenFaire garb... they probably have no clue that it is ala Inquisition

most of them do not
and it amazes me how many talk about the class structure when wearing the clothing of nobles
pardon, class struggle

yup... and moreover, these people who dress like weirdos in public are the first to complain that the public treats them like weirdos
now there's sympathetic magick in action...

yes, and that gets back to the thing earlier about revealed versus experienced
every single person who I have met and would call saint isn't living their faith
they are their faith
but without the costumes
you could pop them in a Big Bad Wolf suit and it would still be there


Posted: Tue - January 31, 2006 at 05:11 AM

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