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Occasionally I wandered in where I was not wanted and gave truthful answers.
Sometimes I even did it deliberately. A little disruption now can prevent disaster later.

Love on the rocks

This is a page from the third version of Technopagan Yearnings. There are some formatting differences.

Originally published at www.neowayland.com/C65989237/E20071130073922

Love on the rocks


Moving from the poltically correct

Thanks to Jason Pitzl-Waters over at The Wild Hunt Blog, I read this article by Starhawk.

This is one where I can't be politically correct.

First a little bit of background. I used to be a junior v.p. at a medium sized company. I've described that portion of my life as my Corporate Clone days. One of the things that characterized this company (and many others) is how the corporate culture emphasized manipulating Power Over. Suppliers, underlings, customers, it didn't really matter. Those of us in middle management sharpened our skills on each other, practicing to take on the Big Boys.

Not surprisingly, sex was a pretty common tool. At first I wasn't all that good, but I did have one advantage. Thanks to my Asperger Syndrome, when I did focus on someone's behavior and reactions and needs, I was VERY focused. It made me rather good at seduction despite my average looks, and it made me pretty good at sex too.

There were some unpleasant and politically incorrect truths that I learned, things that Starhawk would prefer to overlook.

First and foremost, women can rape too. And not just men.

Second, children don't magically grow into sexual beings, they are born that way. That means that in some cases, a child can and does initiate sex, even if it is their first sexual experience. It never happened to me, but I know of two cases where it did happen. Both of them were outside the company I worked for.

Third, some people want to be used and abused.

Now I am not going into the why these things are true of some people, or if it's morally wrong that these truths exist, I am just going to say that they are truths for some people. I AM going to say that things can change and people don't have to stay a victim or an exploiter, but it has to be their choice. Just as I am going to say that almost ANY power situation can disintegrate and turn into exploitation very quickly.

So can any sexual situation. But that is too easy an answer. Love and sex are not the same things. Sex is hormones and sweaty bodies and thrills. Love is a commitment to the other person (I share the Greek ideals of love). Our culture has done a real disservice to us by claiming that sex is only right when love is present. Also by confusing nudity and sex, but that is another, much more involved topic that I am am not going to touch here. I've no problem with sex outside marriage or on the side, PROVIDED you didn't make promises of "one and only" to the person you married.

Aside from that, I join Jason and his commentators in wishing that Starhawk would not presume to speak for all Pagans. I actually agree with much of her article, with the provisos I tossed in here.

Posted: Fri - November 30, 2007 at 07:39 AM

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